SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

For about a week now Garrett has been getting up for about 2 hours in the middle of the night, crying/screaming. It was never this bad even when he was an infant. He’s been to the doctor twice in a week. I was pleading with the doctor to find something wrong, and in essence, give him something to make him better. Needless to say, he’s fine. I truly am grateful for that. However, I must be destined to have children that don’t sleep through the night. You know, it’s usually the first thing people ask you after you have a baby, “How are they sleeping”? After about the fourth month after Marschall was born, I began dreading that question from people. Still do, second child still doesn’t sleep through the night. I hear about friends who say after 6-10 weeks, their baby sleeps through the night. To make myself feel better (I say in my head) I think they are lying. I have done everything I feel I can do. Everyone says let them cry it out. I think the ones that say that have never heard a child scream for longer than an hour. It is pure torture, especially in the middle of the night. Pete and I always say before we go to bed, lets try and let him cry it out. Sure enough, 1:00am rolls around and I am trying to do anything I can to get Garrett to stop. Each monthly birthday that he has, I keep hoping that the sleeping will be better. Not too long ago, Pete and I were noticing that Marschall has stopped getting up in the middle of the night and he’s three. Oh gosh, that doesn’t seem to bring me much comfort. Oh well, this too shall pass, I suppose. On a positive note, I have been able to catch some of the late night shows that I use to watch in college. Cable run repeats of Leno and Conan from the 2:00-4:00 am hours. I am like my own TV guide channel, I can tell you what shows come on what time all through out the night.
Thankfully, I don't blog in the middle of the night or I would probably have to change my blog title to, "Take this job and shove it". HA,HA

He is Risen!

Easter weekend has been extra special these past few years for me. Today is Marschall’s Birthday; he was born on Good Friday 3 years ago. We had a really busy weekend, with two parties for Marschall on Saturday and then Easter Day festivities after church.
This past Easter was the first time we tried to tell Marschall what Easter is all about. He watched a children’s version of the Passion movie. Some parts had to be fast forwarded through; even the animated version was pretty violent for a 3 year old. I have these moments that I want to tell Marschall all about Jesus and what He did for him on the cross. We have shared about Jesus with him to some extent. I begin to wonder and think how is he going to understand it all. But then I am reminded that Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven”. I am amazed what Marschall can comprehend about a lot of different things. Why should I second-guess what the Lord can do in a little heart that He created? Faith like a child is how the Lord asks us to trust him.
I am amazed at the responsibility, as parents, we have to impart the Truth to our children. I read something in a book recently, “Children learn with ease what they are taught early, whether from TV violence and pornography, or from life-changing biblical information…” Violence and pornography are obvious things we won’t let Marschall be exposed to, but what about things that just distract him enough from the Truth of God? I am amazed that the two biggest Christian holidays that are celebrated have some other secular distraction associated with them. I won’t get into are you for or against the Easter bunny. However, Easter is a celebration of a life-changing event for those who accept who Jesus is. How does the Easter bunny and dyed Easter eggs relate to salvation? Things that make you hummm…..

Suckers and a Fast ride


Yesterday, my mom and I, took Garrett and Marschall to Southpoint mall to meet my sister and her boyfriend for lunch. Of course, shopping was part of our goal too. We do this every so often when my mom is out of school. It’s always an adventure to say the least! I have found some new tricks that work for Marschall to be able to handle a few hours of shopping. We have two strollers, one for Marschall and one for Garrett. I had a bag full of snacks and candy for Marschall. In order to keep Marschall in his seat and hands off the clothing racks we had to stroll him at a fast cardio walking pace and keep handing him suckers. He went through 3 suckers, which lasted about 15-20 minutes each and a bag of mini oreos. So I figured we had about 1 hour of focused shopping time,(I think we were there for about 4 hours.) We really only stayed in the main mall area because we could only go so fast in Nordstrom. Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth it… but better to go and do what I love, even if I don’t get to peruse all the stores at my own leisure. It beats not going at all. I even made out with a shirt and a pair of shoes that matched!

PS~ Regarding our beach trip, we had a wonderful time away, I think I have unpacked everything by now and the suitcases are put away. The kids did great, minus Marschall’s throwing up virus that lasted 3 hours in the middle of the night on the Friday we left.

Great Anticipation

I am so looking forward to this weekend. We have been invited to go to the beach with 5 other couples from church. This will be the first excursion we have had since baby #2. I actually can’t believe we have waited this long. We are just going to go out to eat, the girls are going to the spa, the guys are going to watch baskeball, play cards, we are going to eat lot of adult size snacks and most of all relax. I mean total heaven. However, it takes a lot of coordination to get someone to watch both kids. We have great help with both sets of our parents being in town. My parents are taking the kids this weekend. I can see my notes to them now… (Thankfully they both know what they are getting themselves into)

Mom and Dad,
Here are the instructions for this weekend…
Garrett eats every 2-3 hours, feed baby food in between bottle feedings
Marschall eats all the time (make sure you have an endless supply of snacks if you go out)
Try to take Marschall to the bathroom in between him throwing a tantrum of not wanting to go. If he doesn’t go, he will make a mess. He of course can’t clean it up, or I should say there is a bigger mess if he tries to clean it up.
By the way, Garrett still doesn’t sleep through the night, he will stir probably twice and you will need to feed him once and by the way he is teething terribly.
Sometimes Marschall will just appear at your face in the middle of the night just lead him back to bed he should go back to sleep until 6:15 am.
Ya’ll have fun and tell the boys we can’t wait to not be woken in the middle of the night and that mommy and daddy are so excited we both can sleep past 6:30 for the first time in about a year!
I think that is it~ we hope to see you a week from Sunday (just kidding)

Whew, again, with great anticipation we wait for Friday at 9:00am

Noisemakers

I kind of made a vow before we had children that we would not buy any loud and obnoxious toys. There is really no need for them. Then there is reality… Marschall was about a year old or so and he loved/loves the Wiggles. Target had this cute Wiggles guitar that I thought he would have so much fun with. Forgetting my vow, he now owns that little guitar. (Flash forward 2 years later) I now have visions of throwing that guitar out on the concrete driveway and letting it smash into a million little pieces. It seems I am holding on to all the patience I have left and he finds that guitar and pushes all the buttons at once.
It's kind of funny not learning from the guitar mistake, I buy him a toy keyboard. It was only $3.00, why not? I am standing in the shower this morning and hear the keyboard (that I had hid under our bed) coming from our bedroom. He had set it on the demo button, playing it over and over again. Whew, I get exasperated just writing this. You know, come to think of it we bought him this toy electric drill that is louder than the real thing. It's now on top of our entertainment center out of view. Who creates this stuff? I just keep hiding these noisemakers and he seems to find them at just the right time. I can’t bring myself to discard of them on Friday morning trash pick-up day and I would never want to give them away and be resposible for creating havoc in someone's household. However, I am documenting this, no more noisemakers. If per chance I get the inclination to expose him to more musical instruments, I must sign him up for lessons at someone else’s house!

“You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.”

I always like to keep my options open, even though, I am a planner to the very core of my inner being. I do not like to be tied down to other people’s timeframes and events, unless I choose do to so. I don’t like chaos, I hate to feel overwhelmed and run ragged. I am always reluctant to say “yes” to help and to serve because I may need that time to do something else more important that needs to get done. Or worse yet, if I am honest, I really may not want to serve others because it’s not “fun” or very gratifying.
When I put this into words I see how self-serving I really am. However, I am not trying to be self-deprecating. This has just been my struggle. Now that I am juggling a family this struggle has been amplified. My family is important and my first priority. However, I know there are other outlets I can and should use my abilities to serve others.
The other end of the spectrum is not being able to say “no”. Pete would fall into this category and be the first to admit it. He loves helping and “just doing”; he would do anything for anyone at anytime. I admire him because I know it is in his genuine nature to want to help and care for people. It sure works in my favor too; he helps a lot with taking care of our boys. However, he and I both know there are downsides to always saying “yes” and in my case, tending to say “no”. If he’s not careful he enables himself to be pulled so many directions, he ends up getting run down and causes other parts of his life to be stressed. Either way, both spectrums can be detrimental.
Where is the balance? It’s hard to find that balance. How can I make the most of my time? What should I invest in and have that, somehow, coincide with what I enjoying doing? God has given us each special gifts to use here on earth. Furthermore, he has called us to serve and to care for one another.
I just don’t want to find myself at the end of this life wondering why I killed so much time waiting for something better to invest in. I am starting to push myself out of my comfort zone- saying “yes” to some things that I would have said “no” to before and yet continually searching out my motives and asking the Lord’s help with direction. It has been neat to feel how freeing it really is to serve someone else and to continue to learn what I am called to do in this season of my life.

Tenth in Line

Last Friday, was my "Friends' moment"; The time when Monica, Rachel and Phoebe were standing in line for Monica's designer wedding dress and they raced in with their whistles and whoever found "The dress" were suppose to blow their whistle to alert the other girls. Well, that was my mission on Friday, except to find all size 4 summer clothes for Marschall and a few items for Garrett. I was the first one to the size 4 rack and boy did it ever get crowded! I was in and out in a matter of 25 minutes with approximately a whole season worth of clothes, yah! Even though it was way crowded, I didn't see anyone have a run in with the policeman, yes there was a policeman there to keep everyone in order. Serious shoppers, I must say!

Bobbing for Garrett!

So, I am in the kitchen and look up and think to myself “ That’s not Marschall’s head I see bobbing up and down behind the coffee table… Oh My Gosh, that is my 5 month old, Garrett!!!!!! All I see is Garrett’s tiny head going up, down, up, down. I can’t tell you how my heart sank, I yell as I am running over to Marschall, “Be Careful”! I have learned I do over react in this area; I don't want to give Marschall the idea of being rough with Garrett as a way of getting my attention. I just want Garrett to be able to fend for himself before he and Marschall start wrestling,(at least be able to sit up). Marschall has yet to hurt Garrett and I try to watch them closely. But Garrett laughs more at Marschall than Pete and I put together. Of course, this just encourages Marschall. But I see what it can be someday once they get older. It’s going to be fun! Sure they will get hurt and fight but what buds they will be! I really do hope so.
I see now why my mom would get so mad at me when I was mean to my sister, boy was I mean. I don’t need to hear any hallelujahs from the peanut gallery, Joy. But I am sure my mom just wanted me to be nice and enjoy my built in playmate. Well, all I can do is hope for Marschall and Garrett to be able to enjoy each other! Sure it will entail some purposeful bumps and bruises along the way but what siblings don’t fight? Obviously, it makes the younger sibling stronger when they get older, my sister would be the one to clobber me now (at least that’s what I let her think)~

For the G-boro Folk

Oh, how I love the season of consignment sales! I am ready for Friday am, I've got my plan of attack. Thought you may be interested, just make sure you get in line behind me :)

Christ UMC Mar. 3, 4 9 am to 8 pm; 8-11 am

Muirs Chapel UMC Mar. 3, 4 9 am to 7 pm; 9 am to 12 pm

Mothers of Multiples/College Place UMC Mar. 3,4 9 am-1 pm & 3-8 pm; 8 am - 12 pm

Christ Community Church Mar. 4 8 am to 12 pm and 1-4 pm

Sedgefield Presbyterian Church Mar. 9, 10 9:30 am to 6 pm; 9:30 am to 2 pm

First Presbyterian Church Mar. 10, 11 9:30 am to 7 pm; 8 am to 12 pm

Friendly Avenue Baptist Church Mar. 10, 11 9 am to 7 pm; 8-11 am

Guilford College UMC Mar. 10, 11 9 am to 6 pm; 9 am to 12 pm/12:15-2:30 pm

Summerfield UMC Mar. 10, 11 9 am to 7 pm; 9 am to 12 pm

Mt. Pisgah UMC Mar. 17,18 9 am to 7 pm; 8 am to 1 pm

To Divide and Conquer

Marschall tells me in his own little words that Pete had given him some candy, which the smell of peppermint was emanating from his mouth. I acknowledge him and soon he leaves the room. Shortly, I hear from the kitchen, “More candy Daddy, more candy Daddy, and then he shouts, Mommy said yes”. I then shout, “I did not say yes”.
I really didn’t care if Pete had given him another piece of candy but I couldn’t believe that he was already “working the parents”. Pete and I have started to show our unity in our decision-making with him. You know the drill, if one parent says “no” then it’s a “no” and vice-versa. In the short amount of time we have done this, Marschall has learned that Pete and I back each other up. Sometimes it works to his advantage but usually it results in a tantrum on the floor.
Some days I am amazed at how much I hear myself rationalizing to a 3 year old. He sure knows the buttons to push! Our 3 year old may sometimes divide us in our decision-making behind closed doors (and that’s for us to work out) but we will not be conquered! Hopefully, it will just be battles over candy for a while…

Just Some Advice…

Everyone accounted for? This is always a good question to ask yourself when you have more than one child. Marschall, Garrett and I were at McDonalds meeting some friends a while back. We had a fun time. Marschall behaved for the most part, Garrett stayed sound asleep and it was nice. It was time to go, Marschall and I were saying good-bye and we were on our way out the door and I hear this chirp from the corner. Uhhh, yeah, I forgot my 2 month old in the corner of McDonalds. Cool mom. I about had heart failure. Now, obviously I didn’t get far. But now, every time I get in the car, I look in my rear view mirror and make sure all are accounted for!

I Saw Stars and They Sure Weren't Pretty

I was about 8 or 10 years old. My parents took me to Grimsley High School for some kind of community day. They had a race for all the young people to run 1 lap around the track. I was excited, ready to go for it. I started out like gangbusters; I was one of the ones in the lead. I can still remember turning the first corner and then thinking, “Gosh, I can’t breathe very well”, still running hard, I started to see stars. It went downhill from there. I crossed the finish line last. I mean, I think my dad had to come help me cross the line. It was terrible; I was so embarrassed. Why did I feel the need to give it my all in the first 2 minutes of the race? Why I didn’t pace myself, I’ll never know. I did not have one ounce of endurance left in me, well; I take that back, I had just enough to not pass out before crossing the finish line!
Motherhood can seem like a race some days. Trying to get it all done, perfectly. I’ve given up on the perfect household, I’m just trying to cross the line at the end of the day with a few clean clothes folded and the toys put back in the toy box and Marschall’s teeth brushed!
I looked up endure on dictionary.com. Endure means: To carry on through, despite hardships. I believe a lot of parenthood entails this. The Lord has been teaching me a lot lately upon dependence on Him and Him alone. Asking Him, what I should be involved in, to do and not to do. I don’t want to run myself ragged and get ahead of Him in my days and weeks. I can’t stand the thought of being disheveled. I find myself most “out of sorts” when I take my eyes off Him and end up feeling like I am running around in circles. As mothers and wives, we have a huge responsibility to take care of our own our husbands, our children and our homes. On top of all that we each have our own interests and hobbies, we want to be involved in.
All of this, reminds me of the following verse in Hebrews. “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who forth the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Out of the Blue

Last night Marschall and I were having dinner together, (Pete was working late). I said, “Marschall let’s sit and eat together”, he kept trying to get up from his chair. Out of the blue, he came back over and sat down and looked up at me and he said “We buddies”. I thought, wow, just that little statement was worth Pete working late!
Sometimes, we don’t realize the impact we are having on our children. Obviously, I was never expecting that statement to come out of his mouth, (See previous blog, “The Ugly Truth”). Maybe, I don’t love playing ball or wrestling around with Marschall, but he and I enjoyed a nice little dinner together, just as buddies.
A funny side note, as cute as it was eating dinner with each other, just “being buddies”, I was also his buddy last night around 12:30am cleaning up throw-up from his floor. I guess I’m his sick buddy too, poor little thing. So far, he’s doing better today.

TO GOOD DAYS!

Doesn’t it feel really good when you know you have had a good day? What I mean by this is; your kids have been good, you’ve gotten a few things done around the house, you’ve showered and put on a cute outfit, you’ve defrosted your meat before 5:00pm for dinner and you think, why can’t it be like this everyday? Everything works like clock work. I love those days, they happen maybe once a week for me. I really appreciate days like that and really dislike when I know at 8:00am that it’s not going to be one of those so-called “good” days. Yesterday, started out like that for me. I got a call at 7:50am, it was my uncle, and he is a sheriff in Guilford County. He was out near our area and wanted to stop by and say hey, he was waiting in our driveway. Meanwhile, Marschall had been up since 6:15, we kept trying to send him back to bed, he was already in one of those moods. Garrett had just gotten up and was ready to eat. In my head I was thinking, well why not a vistor, maybe, this will get Marschall out of his funk! So I told him I would be downstairs in a couple of minutes to get to the door. I open the door and he says “Oh I didn’t mean to catch you in your robe”. Now, I know he doesn’t have any kids. But really, did he think I would be already to go and start my day before the 8:00 hour. It made me laugh and I thought now if you come back at 10:00, chances are you will still see me in my morning attire. Oh well, he didn’t stay long and Marschall still didn’t get out of his funk. So, I’m thinking no more visitors until at least the 9:00 hour from now on. Well, I am shooting for one of those better days today, we will see…. It’s 8:23 am so far so good~

The Ugly Truth

I often compare myself to other moms. I have an image in my head of what the ideal mother and wife should look like. I was giving this some thought, what I came up with is this. When I think of all the moms I know, I often think of a mixture of all my friends that are moms and have this super woman image in my mind. With that said, often I feel I come up short and with my priorities out of whack.
I love my boys and I love being around them. I love nurturing them, caring for their needs and hurts. However, I struggle with just sitting and “playing” with Marschall, and sometimes think “Garrett, please just play on the floor for a little while longer until I can finish …” I get frustrated with myself because I think my first wants should be just sitting and enjoying my children. 8 out of 10 times it’s not the case.
I dread the thought of having to scrapbook, even if it is centered on beautiful pictures of my babies. I’m just not a crafty person. I think the hardest thing about being a mom is feeding my children before myself. People that know me know how much I love my meals! I even think hum… when is the next time Pete and I can just go out by ourselves? One would think, well maybe you should work more and then you would appreciate your children. I don’t think that is the answer. Because when I worked, I compared myself to co-workers, other girls, wives etc. I complained about my job and my boss. I wished had a different job or worked in a different department.
The comparisons never stop, life is life, and jealousy invades or worse yet, I think pride invades. I try and make myself feel better and think well at least I do this or that better than “she” does. Awful isn’t it!
I do think I have been given strengths I can excel in and obvious weaknesses I should work on. My fear is that frustrations will overtake the joy in just being with my children. I really have to make an effort to stop what I am doing and sit and throw the ball with Marschall. Sounds easy, but for me it’s not. I do see how fulfilling it can be when I do stop and see the appreciation on his face.
I am trying to look at it as this, frustrations are everywhere, I will screw up – make wrong decisions. It’s hard to sacrifice. I never knew what true sacrifice was until I had kids. Before kids, I shopped when I wanted, napped when I wanted. I did what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I still feel that tug. I am just glad I’m aware and that the desire is there in just “being” with my children and further more have the opportunity day after day to try and just stop. With that said though, I think times are all the more sweet when Marschall and I have special moments of just playing. He and Pete play all the time and that’s good. But I desire for my boys to remember that their mom played too and better yet had fun doing it!

The Day of so-called Love

My husband, Pete and I went to our church's Valentine's dinner Friday night. It was really nice. But to be honest, as long as I got to leave the house, I didn’t care if I got to sit in a parked car eating fast food. It was a busy and somewhat difficult day with the kids, to say the least. It is funny to see how our Valentine’s celebrations have changed over the course of 7 years.
My dad always called Valentine’s Day, Amateur day ~ Meaning, the guys that don’t know how to love their significant others all year long have to have an actual scheduled day to show their love. I have always kind of agreed but yet, I sure do like gifts, dinners, flowers, etc. I can always count on these things around Feb.14th from Pete.
Why do I always feel the need to want jewelry and these monumental presents on these worldly scheduled holidays? (Mother’s Day, Birthdays, Christmas, Anniversaries).
If I am honest with myself, the times I feel most loved from Pete is when out of the blue he brings me flowers or tells me what a good mother and wife I am (especially when I am about to lose it) or when he tells me he just wants us to go away and be together for a night all by ourselves. This affirms me and makes me feel loved by him.
I was helping Marschall put together his little Valentine’s Day cards for his friends at his pre-school. I have a vivid memory of first grade delivering out all my little cards on the back of my friend chairs that had a huge heart envelope to put the cards in. I remember digging through mine searching for the one’s from certain friends. I think I needed affirmation back then too. I’m amazed at how I still search to be loved and affirmed. You would think after being married, having kids, my heart would be satisfied.
I know the bigger picture is my heart will never be satisfied depending on my spouse to meet my needs or my children to meet those needs. True love, contentment and peace are when I have my heart and mind focused on Jesus. That’s easier said than done. It seems my heart and mind sure wanders away from Him often.
However, knowing Him intimately, I always feel Him pursuing me. The picture I get is when Pete pursued me in the beginning of our dating relationship. He wanted me, pursued me and accepted who I was. Until we see Jesus face to face, he will ever be pursuing us to Himself in the midst of our chaotic lives and our need for love.
Elisabeth Elliot states “Heaven is not here, it’s there. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for.”

"AHHHH, 8:00pm"

There's nothing like bedtime, is there? I've had a glass of wine, some chocolate, the house is straightened, minus the 3 loads of laundry I have to fold on the guest bed. That's what the door is for, you know? Out of site out of mind!
I used to really like bedtime. I knew my husband and I would have the night to ourselves. But since September, I have been a little on eggshells, waiting for my 5 month old to stir. He has yet to stay down once I put him down at 7:30pm. Oh well, it won't last forever. I keep telling myself that. Surely, he won't be doing this, this time next year. It's funny, I tell myself "If only he would sleep better, If only he would use the potty, If only he would be quiet while we're in the car. I think it was my mom that said, once they get older it will be something else. Always something, It's taken me almost 3 years to realize children don't come in a nice little wrapped up package with the batteries included. What the heck is it going to be like when they are 13, 16, 20? I bet we will be wishing we just have to clean up poop from the carpet! What a great responsibility we have as moms and dads! It reminds of the verse in the Bible from Philippians "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." It sure would be hard to do all this by yourself. I know sometimes I try and I have the worse days. I better wrap this up,you won't believe this but, he, my 5 month old has woken up and has been crying for about 10 minutes.

"The next time you scream, I am pulling over and you are getting a spanking"...

Darn't, Yes, I am driving down Highway 220 and those words come out of my mouth. Do you ever think, Why the heck did I say that? Now I am going to have to follow through and slow down, pull the car over and give the spanking I promised. Because, I think, to a child, a promise is a promise. He is expecting me to give what I promised. You say, a spanking, they don't want that. But here is the deal... I gave Marschall 3 warnings and then he kept testing me, just screaming in a soft voice not quite as loud as his orginal tantrum. I really tried ignoring it but you know what? He screamed loudly again and I pulled the car over and spanked him. He was a perfect angel after that,(at least for the next 30 minutes). He was like "Finally, mommy you did what you said you were going to do and now I can quit screaming". I can see this being the time in children's lives where they want the boundaries and they are expecting us to follow through on them. I think they find security in this. I know this is not any new revelation but it's amazing to see it played out in my own child's life.

Oxymoron?

Before I even begin this first posting. I have to share that as of 12:32pm I have already pulled over on the side of the road to spank my almost 3 year old. He truly was asking for it, I'll get to that on a later post and I have cleaned up poop that fell out of my almost 3 year old's diaper that he decided to take off on our carpet. With that said most people in this day and age wouldn't want to be called a homemaker much less understand that it can be joyfilled. This is for all the stay at home moms out there. I truly believe that I am a joyfilled homemaker and I hope you will find some humor in it all, as I'm sure we all do. Some days I want, I mean I do, scream and other days I laugh so hard with my almost 3 year old we have tears in our eyes.

I'm thankful my husband can and wants to provide for us, so that I can spend most of my time with my children. I'm thankful I go to a church where most of the moms I hang out with stay at home, I'm encouraged by them.
I'm thankful that the Lord has given me a true peace and contentment where I am in life.

I think women and new moms can lose their focus on where their calling is, what is their identity and are we ever going to be able to carry a small purse and have our hands free again? I'm still questioning the later question...