ÜberJoy

Endless Sympathy

My patience and my sympathy only go so far. Marschall is sleeping on the top bunk these days. He hasn't fallen out when he sleeps, thankfully. However, last night, he fell down the ladder for the third time in the past week. He was trying to get down to go to the bathroom one more time before bed. I had had it! (That seems right when I say it aloud.)
I just finished telling him to be careful, so he wouldn't get hurt. I said "Remember, last night, when you fell down trying to get one last toy up to your bed?" As soon as the words were out of my mouth, he fell pretty hard down ladder.... again . All I could do in the opposite of my nice soft voice.... who am I kidding? Yelling, "Marschall, I just told you to be careful and that you could get hurt, ahhhh". I don't think he benefited from being told again that he could get hurt, the cries of scraping his back down the ladder seemed to overtake my lecture. I felt really bad later, checking on him after he had fallen asleep. He's just four. To me, it seems once they reach the age of being able to communicate, they should just anticipate danger, know consequences etc. Isn't that ridiculous? Motherhood is a journey. I have never learned so much about myself in trying to raise in my little ones. It seems, four years later, all I have learned is I still don't have patience and my sympathy is not endless. I have a mature friend(she has raised two boys) that said your children will bring you to the cross. At first, when she said that, it made me think of coming to the cross when my children are in their teenage years; wondering where they are and what they are doing. I am realizing lately, I cling to the grace of the cross because of the mistakes I make with my boys already and the changes I need to happen in me. Thankfully, God is the perfect parent for my children. Confessing that I am not, enables Him to work in me. That's all I want.... for Him to do is perfect work in me and boy, do I need Him to do so daily.