ÜberJoy

“You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.”

I always like to keep my options open, even though, I am a planner to the very core of my inner being. I do not like to be tied down to other people’s timeframes and events, unless I choose do to so. I don’t like chaos, I hate to feel overwhelmed and run ragged. I am always reluctant to say “yes” to help and to serve because I may need that time to do something else more important that needs to get done. Or worse yet, if I am honest, I really may not want to serve others because it’s not “fun” or very gratifying.
When I put this into words I see how self-serving I really am. However, I am not trying to be self-deprecating. This has just been my struggle. Now that I am juggling a family this struggle has been amplified. My family is important and my first priority. However, I know there are other outlets I can and should use my abilities to serve others.
The other end of the spectrum is not being able to say “no”. Pete would fall into this category and be the first to admit it. He loves helping and “just doing”; he would do anything for anyone at anytime. I admire him because I know it is in his genuine nature to want to help and care for people. It sure works in my favor too; he helps a lot with taking care of our boys. However, he and I both know there are downsides to always saying “yes” and in my case, tending to say “no”. If he’s not careful he enables himself to be pulled so many directions, he ends up getting run down and causes other parts of his life to be stressed. Either way, both spectrums can be detrimental.
Where is the balance? It’s hard to find that balance. How can I make the most of my time? What should I invest in and have that, somehow, coincide with what I enjoying doing? God has given us each special gifts to use here on earth. Furthermore, he has called us to serve and to care for one another.
I just don’t want to find myself at the end of this life wondering why I killed so much time waiting for something better to invest in. I am starting to push myself out of my comfort zone- saying “yes” to some things that I would have said “no” to before and yet continually searching out my motives and asking the Lord’s help with direction. It has been neat to feel how freeing it really is to serve someone else and to continue to learn what I am called to do in this season of my life.