Tuesday, February 21, 2006

I Saw Stars and They Sure Weren't Pretty

I was about 8 or 10 years old. My parents took me to Grimsley High School for some kind of community day. They had a race for all the young people to run 1 lap around the track. I was excited, ready to go for it. I started out like gangbusters; I was one of the ones in the lead. I can still remember turning the first corner and then thinking, “Gosh, I can’t breathe very well”, still running hard, I started to see stars. It went downhill from there. I crossed the finish line last. I mean, I think my dad had to come help me cross the line. It was terrible; I was so embarrassed. Why did I feel the need to give it my all in the first 2 minutes of the race? Why I didn’t pace myself, I’ll never know. I did not have one ounce of endurance left in me, well; I take that back, I had just enough to not pass out before crossing the finish line!
Motherhood can seem like a race some days. Trying to get it all done, perfectly. I’ve given up on the perfect household, I’m just trying to cross the line at the end of the day with a few clean clothes folded and the toys put back in the toy box and Marschall’s teeth brushed!
I looked up endure on dictionary.com. Endure means: To carry on through, despite hardships. I believe a lot of parenthood entails this. The Lord has been teaching me a lot lately upon dependence on Him and Him alone. Asking Him, what I should be involved in, to do and not to do. I don’t want to run myself ragged and get ahead of Him in my days and weeks. I can’t stand the thought of being disheveled. I find myself most “out of sorts” when I take my eyes off Him and end up feeling like I am running around in circles. As mothers and wives, we have a huge responsibility to take care of our own our husbands, our children and our homes. On top of all that we each have our own interests and hobbies, we want to be involved in.
All of this, reminds me of the following verse in Hebrews. “Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who forth the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”


melissaroddey said...

It definitely is a race, and one that I know I see stars in most days. Just like you said, we won't make it without our Father not only helping us cross the finish line, but to run period. I know for me, it's a struggle just to let go of the things that do "so easily entangle me" and set my eyes on him. But when I do, it's great to see the clarity He gives to see the race as it should be run.

Joy said...

thanks meredith, getting that eternal perspective is so hard some days, but can bring such peace!...."He is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him"....right!

Anonymous said...

ya, parenting is a marathon not a sprint.

Anonymous said...

I'm out of breath these days for different reasons. It's still a race where our eyes should be focused on Jesus...when that happens we still have energy left...mom

brianskim said...

Meredith, It feels good to know that there are other women with the same struggles. This is the first time that I have read your blog. I will be checking back often. We really need to get together soon. Love, Kim